When your teenager has stopped talking to you, there’s still a way back in.
Teen counselling in Melbourne for ages 12 and over, with guidance for the parents who love them. Ronen works with young people living with complex trauma, defiant behaviour and school refusal, alongside Banjo, a certified therapy dog who helps build trust.
Counsellor at MacKillop Education. Trauma-informed. NDIS-funded families welcome.
Does this sound like your home?
- “Every conversation turns into an argument.”
- “They shut their door and shut us out.”
- “They won’t go to school, and nothing we try works.”
- “The anger comes out of nowhere, and we’re walking on eggshells.”
- “They’ve been through so much, and we don’t know how to reach them.”
It isn’t laziness, and it isn’t bad parenting. Behind defiance, anger and refusal there is usually a young person who feels unsafe, unheard or overwhelmed. My work is to make it safe enough for them to start talking again, and to help you stay connected while that happens.
Teen counselling for complex trauma, defiant behaviour and school refusal
At MacKillop Education I work with teenagers whose behaviour has been misunderstood, and whose families and schools have often run out of options.
Complex trauma
Young people who have been through things no child should. They may look angry, flat or switched off, but their nervous system is working overtime to keep them safe. We go at their pace, with safety before talking.
Defiant behaviour
Refusing, arguing, pushing every boundary. Defiance is often how a young person protects themselves when they feel controlled or unseen. We work on what’s underneath it, and on what happens between you.
School refusal
When getting to school feels impossible, pressure and punishment rarely help. We look for what’s driving it, such as anxiety, trauma or feeling unsafe, and work towards small, realistic steps.
How teen counselling works
For teenagers aged 12 and over. Nobody is forced to talk, and we move at your teen’s pace.
You and I talk first
Tell me what’s been happening at home and at school, and what you’ve already tried. No judgement. We’ll plan together how to introduce this to your teen.
Your teen comes along, at their own pace
There’s no interrogation. The first sessions are about feeling safe. Banjo is there, and your teen decides how much to say.
Trust grows, and so does communication
Regular sessions build the relationship. You get guidance on how to talk, respond and stay connected, so what changes in the room changes at home.
Sessions usually run for 50 minutes.
Trust starts with Banjo, a certified therapy dog
Many teenagers who have stopped trusting adults will still sit beside a dog. Banjo is a certified therapy dog: calm, friendly and completely non-judgemental.
He gives a nervous teen something to focus on other than an adult asking questions. His presence helps bodies settle, shoulders drop and walls come down. For many young people, Banjo is the reason it starts to feel safe to talk.
He’s not an extra. He’s an essential part of how I build the trust that everything else depends on.
Then, being heard: trauma-informed counselling
Once there’s trust, the real work begins. My approach is person-centred and trauma-informed. I listen without lecturing, and I help your teen make sense of what they’re feeling and what they actually want.
Being truly heard
A space where your teen isn’t being managed, corrected or fixed. For many, it’s the first adult conversation that doesn’t turn into a fight.
Music and creativity in teen counselling
Not every teenager needs music. But if yours is drawn to it, whether they live in their headphones or play an instrument, it can make therapy easier and richer.
Your teen doesn’t need experience, talent or any wish to perform. And if music isn’t their thing, we simply don’t use it.
A way in
For a teen who finds talking hard, music is common ground. Sharing a favourite song, a playlist or a riff on the guitar starts a conversation without the pressure of eye contact. Listening counts too: what they choose to play and why can tell us a lot about how they’re feeling.
An outlet for what’s hard to say
Writing lyrics, building a beat or hitting the drums gives big feelings somewhere to go that isn’t a slammed door or an argument. Songwriting and other creative work can put words, and sometimes the first words, to what’s going on inside.
Empowerment and voice
Many of the teens I work with feel controlled, judged or unheard. Making something that’s truly theirs puts them in charge. They decide, they create, and they get to be heard on their own terms, which builds confidence and a stronger sense of who they are.
Support for you, too: guidance for parents
You’re not meant to know how to do this alone. Alongside your teen’s sessions, I’ll help you with:
- Understanding what’s behind the behaviour, not just the behaviour itself
- Ways to talk that lower the temperature instead of escalating it
- Staying connected when your teen pulls away
- Working with your teen’s school, where it helps and your teen agrees
Hi, I’m Ronen
I’m a counsellor, a dad and a performer. I’ve spent more than a decade supporting young people in schools, and today I work with teenagers at MacKillop Education whose behaviour has been called difficult because nobody has worked out what they’re trying to say.
I believe almost every teenager wants to be understood. My job is to make it safe enough for them to try.
- Counsellor and educational support at MacKillop Education
- Trauma-informed, relationship-first practice
- Diploma of Counselling
- Bachelor of Psychology
Questions parents ask about teen counselling
My teenager says they won’t come. What now?
That’s very common, and it’s where we start. We begin with a conversation between you and me, then plan a low-pressure way to introduce the idea. Often the first step is simply meeting Banjo.
Do you work with school refusal?
Yes, it’s a big part of my experience at MacKillop. We start by understanding what’s driving it, such as anxiety, trauma, bullying or feeling overwhelmed, then work towards small, realistic steps. With your teen’s agreement, I can work alongside their school.
Will you tell me everything my teen says?
Teenagers only open up when they know what they say is respected, so I keep their sessions private. The exception is if someone’s safety is at risk. I’ll always keep you informed about how things are going and how you can best support them.
Can this work alongside other supports?
Yes. Counselling works well alongside a psychologist, GP, paediatrician or school wellbeing team, and I’m happy to coordinate with them with your permission.
Does my teen need to be musical?
Not at all. Music is only one tool, used when it helps. Many of the teens I see never pick up an instrument.
Can we use NDIS funding?
Many families do. Get in touch and we’ll talk through how it works with your teen’s plan.
How long are sessions?
Sessions usually run for 50 minutes. Most families start with a regular weekly or fortnightly time, and we review as we go.
Let’s talk about your teenager
A first conversation with you is the best place to start. Call, or send a message and I’ll get back to you.